This proves it!
"The only competition worthy of a wise man is with himself"
-- Washington Allston
I talk a lot about the importance of validating yourself and your work, and not looking to others for approval, but this week I want to attack the same idea from a different angle.
After a few years of not entering competitions, I entered two this year. I felt sure my paintings were worthy of inclusion and I was excited at the opportunity to show them. Finally people would see what I had been working on!
And yet, despite my pride in this work, both paintings were rejected. At first I had the familiar reaction - confusion (surely my painting was good enough?), hurt (why don't they like me?) and even a little bit of anger (who do you think you are rejecting my fine painting? - lol)
These emotional reactions passed a lot more quickly than they used to - within a few minutes I had forgotten all about it, and I didn't give the contests another thought until the finalists were announced.
Of course, at that point, I went back for a peek because I was curious. Why had my paintings not been selected? As soon as I looked at the chosen works, the answer became crystal clear.
One of the shows featured almost no abstract paintings at all, but was predominantly made up of highly skilled realist paintings. The other one featured a mix of genres but all with a shared aesthetic of geometrical shapes and precision.
I could see that my work just wasn't a fit. Those judges would never have chosen my paintings no matter how good they were. They were looking for something totally different. They chose paintings I didn't like, and would never produce.
I was reminded of this experience last night as I tuned in to "Portrait Artist of the Decade" on Sky Arts. This show took most of the previous winners and had them paint Dame Judy Dench. It was fascinating to see the different styles and approaches and all the portraits were interesting.
I would have preferred if it wasn't a competition, but this is TV and there has to be a winner. So a judge from the National Portrait Gallery was drafted in and she selected a winner. Clearly this woman knows her stuff and yet I couldn't understand her selection.
This painting is by Christian Hook
I love that it is a perfect likeness and yet it is also so exciting to look at. The contrast between looseness and precision, and between abstraction and realism, make this a real joy. Christian has his own instantly recognisable style and yet he never lets it become gimmicky. He has a well thought out rationale for his brand of disrupted realism, and I love that he used those bright colours in his underpainting to express the mischief, energy and magnetism that lies just beneath Judy's prim exterior.
But despite all that, the judge chose this charcoal drawing
Don't get me wrong, this is a beautiful drawing by a very skilled artist. But for me this has real issues. First, it isn't a good likeness - I think the nose and mouth are off in a way that changes the emotion and feeling of the piece. Also I don't see the same depth of thought. There was no meaningful rationale behind the choice of medium - the artist just said he chose to draw because he's a slow painter.
In truth, there were 4 or 5 other paintings I would have chosen before this one, but my opinion wasn't the one that counted. And that's the lesson here... judgments are subjective. We bring our own biases and preferences and life experiences to artworks. And that applies to experienced judges just as much as it does to average Joes.
That isn't to say we shouldn't enter competitions, but I think we should go in knowing that the judgements are always subjective and do not reflect on us or our work. And that applies whether we are deemed "winners" or "losers."
If Christian Hook can lose a painting competition, then I know there is simply no point in worrying about how I do!